Unauthorized Animalographies

In an effort for you the reader to better understand what kind of people you are dealing with, I have taken it upon myself to write short animalographies about each member of WE DID IT!. What is an animalography? That question has two answers:



1. It is the revelation of a person's personality through comparison to an animal, whether real or imagined. For example:



Flash Gordon is like a penguin that can fly, he is a miracle.



2. Nothing. It is a nonsense term invented by a cheap and petty individual for the sole purpose of mocking his friends. For example:



Nick Reed is like a hag fish, don't get too close or you will be covered in goo.



That's pretty straightforward I think, now let us to it:



Robert Musseman is like a cat, he does whatever he wants and shits all over your house.


Sean Mccoy is like a puppy with a knife, a tragedy waiting to happen.


These days Nick Grant is like the Dodo, can't find him anywhere.

Michael Harrison is like a bonobo chimp with a machine gun, at first you fear for your life then you start to wonder why that chimp is fucking that machine gun.

Phil Rigney is like a sloth, a calming presence while in the trees, but when sprawled out across your living room floor you freak out and throw rocks at it.

Sean Hardaway is like a Koala Bear, asleep a lot and off his head on eucalyptus and you just want to squeeze him.

As for me, I'm not an animal so much as a mold or a fungus, you know you've made bad decisions in life when you find me in your house.

What a waste of time. Your time. You can't have it back.