Unauthorized Captain Planetographies

In my eternal quest to better help you the reader understand what kind of people you are dealing with, it struck me that all the founding members of WE DID IT! bear striking similarities, both physically and philosophocally, to characters from the early 90's television show Captain Planet.

The odd thing is, most of us are not like the Planeteers or Captain Planet at all. No, we actually are more like the villains. Just mean hurtful, destructive people. I will now show you who is who with a brief line of reasoning from myself and an excerpt from the characters bio from the dedicated Captain Planet website http://www.turner.com/planet/heros.html

1. Sean McCoy is.....

LOOTEN PLUNDER

UNAPOLOGETIC CAPITALIST AND SHARP DRESSER!

From his bio-

"He's suave, he's urbane, and he plunders the planet for profit. He rules his vast multinational empire with an iron fist, eliminating anyone or anything that stands in his way. Plunder considers ecologists to be fools with no understanding of the real world."

On how he deals with the members of WE DID IT!-

"Nothing, however, is beyond his mercenary tactics and he is willing to join forces with - or try to exploit - some of the other villains to achieve his evil goals. "

2. Robert Musseman is....

VERMINOUS SKUMM

A SICKLY LOOKING RAT MAN!

Perhaps there is no better summation of who Bob is than this excerpt from Skumm's bio-

"Skumm fancies himself an agent of entropy with a mission to instigate chaos and degeneration in the natural order. He exults in humanity's every ecological mistake and helps to accelerate the environment's decline. His weapons are a loathsome intelligence combined with the cunning of a trapped rat. "

3. Michael Harrison is....

DR.BLIGHT

SEXY AND DEADLY!

From her bio-

"She represents the dark side of science...."

4. Anthony Herrera is....

HOGGISH GREEDLY

PIG MAN OUT TO RUIN EVERYTHING!

Jesus, it's like they based this guy on me-

"Hoggish Greedly lives to devour the Earth's natural resources. His love for overconsumption extends to every aspect of his behavior and is particularly evident in his "sloppy" eating habits."

"Wherever he strikes, Greedly leaves waste and destruction in his wake."

"Greedly is well aware of his piggish mannerisms. In fact, he delights in using his grossness to frighten and disgust his opponents."

5. Phil Rigney is.....

SLY SLUDGE

BAD MAN WITH A LOW CENTER OF GRAVITY!

This is actually a stretch. Phil is a good and decent person who cares about humanity and the environment. However, if WE DID IT! ever made a Captain Planet movie, he would pretty much have to play Sly Sludge. What, he's going to play Wheeler? Yeah Right!

6. Sean Hardaway is.....

DUKE NUKEM

RADIOACTIVE MAD MAN WITH OFF-KILTER CLOTHES SENSE!

From his bio-

"His long-term plan is to turn the world into a radioactive wasteland where he and his kind will thrive. Until then, he bides his time, hoping to set off a chain reaction here and there - maybe even a nuclear war."

Yep, that's out Sean.

7. Nicholas Grant is....

Ma-Ti

BECAUSE I'M MAD AT HIM!

I don't know why I enjoy alienating and cultivating resentment in those that I care about most. Oh right, I'm an evil Pig Man. That explains it.