MERCHANDISING!

I know it's early days yet, but if the response to BONK is anything to go by, then we are going to be fucking huge soon. So with our imminent success in mind, I can't help but cast my eye towards the kind of paraphenalia/memoribilia that you the audience can't wait to get your well manicured, if suspicious smelling, hands on. Here is what I've come up with so far:

1. KNIVES! Just big knives. Big sharp knives. Each knife comes with an engraving on the handle of your favorite WE DID IT! character, like "The guy from BONK" and "The little girl from BONK" and the always popular "The silver haired lady from BONK".

2. Autographed Grapes! A set of grapes, each one autographed by one of the founding members of WE DID IT!. Comes with a carrying case where you can arrange your grapes in order from most favorite member down to Bob. Please do not eat these grapes or get them near children as we will be using lead based paints and inks on these delicious, juicy grapes.

3. Underwear! Our old underwear. The underwear that we can't bring ourselves to put on anymore. JESUS WEPT, we can't stand having this crunchy cloth on our bodies, but you'll love having these keepsakes hanging over your fire place or as a conversation starters on your coffee table. Comes in boxers, briefs, boxer briefs, thongs, edible, chain mail, and commando. As a fun game, try to match the underwear to the people. (HINT: Mine are the extremely huge ones)

4. A BABY! shhhhhhhhh......just let it happen.

I am dizzy from the thought of all the money we will make. I am excited by the vengeance this money will allow me. I am saddened by all of the innocents who will suffer in the process.

But them's the breaks.